Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly --- and for the same reason.
Courage is being the only one who knows that you're afraid.
A watched pot never boils, but an unwatched pot boils over.
If you're having a pity party, it's best not to invite guests.
Life is like a beaver colony; it's just one damn thing after another.
I used to be apathetic; now I just don't care.
I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
No sense being pessimistic; it wouldn't work anyway.
Down with negativity!
Boycott shampoo! Demand real poo.
Never say anything bad about someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. By then, they’re a mile away, and you’ve got their shoes, and you can say whatever you want to.
It’s not the pace of life that concerns me; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
There are two rules for success in life. 1. Never divulge everything you know.
Advice is that which the wise don't need and the foolish won't take.
Rule #1 – Don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule #2 - It’s all small stuff.
Lord, grant me patience. And Lord, I want it NOW!
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
The man who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as as much as the honesty. Possibly more.
There are too many people too angry at a world that's not the least bit angry at them.
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter.